Empathy – How to connect better with others

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from his angle as well as your own.” – Henry Ford

Empathy is the emotional process that builds connection between people. It is a state of perceiving and relating to another person’s feelings and needs without blaming them, giving advice or trying to fix their situation.

To empathise and understand another individual is an intuitive act where you give complete attention to someone else’s feelings and experience and momentarily suspend your own issues and judgements.

Empathy is a translation of the German term Einfühlung, meaning to feel as one with. It implies sharing the load, or “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes”, in order to appropriately understand the other person’s perspective. This can take time and patience.

It is also a useful skill to be able to practice taking on another’s perspective. On occasions you may feel that your perspective is the only viewpoint available, however this is simply not true. Educate and condition your mind to be more open to the perspectives of others and immerse yourself in a different viewpoint. Not only will this improve your ability to be more empathetic it will help you to learn and grow as a person.

There are many ways that you can be more empathetic and here are three useful tips:

1. Start with yourself. Pay close attention to your emotional state and what makes you feel positive and negative. This is a good basis from which to understand that people have different emotional responses to just about everything. Raising your own level of self-awareness and personal understanding is a good starting point. One thing to be aware of is that unless you can extend compassion, empathy, and understanding to yourself then you won’t be able to genuinely extend it to others.
2. Be fully present. In a world full of distractions it is so important that you give your full attention to the person you are communicating with. By really focusing on what the other person is actually saying to you and attending to listening will help you to engage and fully absorb any information that is being shared.
3. Be objective. It is important that you are aware of suspending any pre conceived judgments or unconscious bias that you may harbor. This could well hinder your ability to really appreciate another person’s point of view. By being open minded and accepting that every person is different will help you to learn from others and also find people more interesting.

When you show deep empathy towards others not only does it help them to feel safer and happier, it will also help you to become a more compassionate and caring person. 

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Bonnie Jean Wasmund

© Liggy Webb         

Come and meet Liggy at the Resilience Zone at World of Learning, 17 & 18 October at Birmingham’s NEC.